How to cultivate trust to achieve greater results

"Because we can't trust, we try to do by ourselves what can't be done alone." ~ Willis Harman

Are you trustworthy? 

“Of course,” you say. “I tell the truth. I’m honest. I do my best to keep promises.”

OK. How about others? Your friends, family, neighbors, co-workers. “Maybe? Not so much,” you say? 

Think about ways people undermine trust? What actions or behaviors come to mind? Is it lack of candor? What about their capability, or their reliability? Or integrity or commitment? Maybe it's a combination of these, or you can't put your finger on it. It's not just about simply telling the truth, is it?

Let's start with why - why this matters.

"We define trust as a 'predisposition to coordinate actions with others - based on having positive assessments of the others’ sincerity, competence and reliability.' We believe that trust is not just a firm belief. We believe it is also a call to act with others." ~ Julio Olalla, Founder, The Newfield Network

Outstanding results come from effective, well coordinated action with others - among people, teams, and organizations. Trust supports such collaboration. This shows up in accepted offers, proposals, and requests, and more effective teamwork. Think about projects you join eagerly; collaborations that you believe in.

Now consider the opposite - where you held negative assessments (even unconsciously)  of others' sincerity, competence and reliability. When this happens, you probably decline, back away, or don't commit. What about ways you might sometimes undermine trust? What habits reduces trustworthiness on your team?

To cultivate greater trust, let's consider a model that breaks trust into four components. The "trust equation" gives us the opportunity to closely examine each of these crucial elements.  

While we're not doing math in our heads during conversations, we do continually judge - or assess - others: Do they know what they're doing? Will they show up prepared? Do they know what I care about? Are they more focused on themselves or  the greater "we?"  Then we "calculate" how much we trust another person or organization. Trust is given; it's places in those who are trustworthy.

When trust is low, we limit and monitor our coordinated actions; they tend to be transactional and modest. When trust it high, on the other hand, our actions are ambitious and transformational; we invest ourselves completely in future outcomes.

We have the opportunity to reflect on how others might assess us along these lines. We can ask for feedback and develop practices for improving where needed.

Let's take a deeper dive.

Competence is domain specific. You might be a fine actor or photographer but if the project is creating next year’s budget, budgeting is what counts. Competence relates to relevant capabilities but also self-awareness of limitations. One of the most trustworthy people I worked with was a beginner in finance but always knew exactly what she could do and when to ask for help. Do I have highly developed  and relevant skills?  What about the capabilities of my team - both individually and collectively?

Reliability is about delivering the goods - on time and fulfilling others' conditions of satisfaction. It's about keeping commitments. We know people who over promise and under deliver and how that undermines trust. Reliability requires more than effective time management - it required managing your mental energy as well. Can people count of me? 

Intimacy is less self-evident than the first two. Effective leaders cultivate trust with open and candid conversations. Collaborators (inside and outside the organization) are comfortable speaking about what they care about and their concerns. When intimacy is high, people are more vulnerable and honest. This is especially crucial for more ambitious projects. Think back to breakdowns you’ve experience resulting from unspoken concerns or agendas. People don't fully commit when they're unclear about shared purpose and the emotional landscape.  Do I know what others care about and do they know the same about me?

Self Orientation undermines the other three (math review: larger denominator reduces the total) and is simply, “I don’t trust you if you’re in this for yourself.”  Here, “self” is more than just ego or personal self interest. Self relates to the team or organization someone represents. And for artists, “self” can mean “the art” or our vision. Until your vision is "our" vision, the disconnect shows up as self-orientation and undermines trust. Am I perceived to bring a collaborative spirit or transactional approach to this work?

Reflection

So again, are you trustworthy? How predisposed are others to coordinating action with you? Which elements of the trust equation are strengths — which are areas of improvement? 

Practice

Become an observer of your own trustworthiness. Seek candid feedback. Reflect as objectively as you can on disappointments: offers declined, proposals turned down, etc. How eager are others to create ambitious projects with you or your organization?

Competence - Carefully identify and improve relevant skills. Know your strengths and let them shine. Be candid about your weakness. Take care to not over-promise and ask for help where needed.

Reliability lets people know they can count on you.  Manage your time and energy to ensure you show up prepared and on time. Make the extra effort to achieve complete clarity on what other's expect. Negotiate when you need to and don't just say "yes" for the sake of agreement.

Intimacy allows people to be vulnerable, open and honest. Listen carefully to others' cares and foster honest and frank conversations. People share what they care about, their dreams, as well as their concerns when given the opportunity. Proactively getting every issue out on the table ensures a greater chance of agreement and commitment.

Reducing Self Orientation signals we over me. Seek mutual understanding on shared cares and vision. This allows you to be really candid and open about your needs and desires.

Trustworthiness allows relationships to flourish and collaboration on more ambitious commitments for greater results. You can cultivate trust through deliberate practice. 

Resource: The Trusted Advisor by David Maister, et al https://trustedadvisor.com/books/the-trusted-advisor

Photo by Cytonn Photography on Unsplash