How what we think creates our future
Retirement (aka our third chapter) represents a significant portion of our lives. This series – click here for part 1 – is about taking a fresh look at what this means to us and reassessing what we want from life. To realize a fully satisfying life, it’s worth considering the future in a new way: to reimagine retirement.To do this, we’re considering practices in three areas: The Inner Game, The Outer Game, and Creation. The Inner Game is about self-examination and self-awareness. What is truly important to us, and what do we want from life. The Outer Game is about conversations. Communicating with and coordinating our lives with others. And, Creation is about living a purposeful life.
It seemed to Don that his career was ending abruptly. A corporate restructuring presented him with a nice “early retirement.” While he was looking forward to some time off – golf and traveling, he must admit he hadn’t thought much about it. How much golf can he really do? What’s next? When he pauses to think about it, he finds himself more than a little anxious. What was he going to do with himself?
There are three Things extremely hard, Steel, a Diamond, and to know one's self." – Benjamin Franklin
If retirement is the third chapter of your story, how do you intend to fill its pages? For many, the primary question is: how do we use our time? The focus is on what we want to do (or not do). This tends to keep us busy with a “doing” mentality; with bucket lists and so many to-dos that some “retirees” are busier and more stressed than they were before!Sure, it’s exciting to think about all the things we can do after a working career. And it is certainly necessary to make practical decisions about how we spend our time and energy. But as a foundation, it’s important to consider how we want to be – what kind of person we are and what want to become. What kind of relationships we want with others. What kind of relationship we want with ourselves.To support this, it’s worth examining two perspectives. One, how do we assess where we are right now: how do we feel about retirement? Our career? About getting older? Change itself? As we become more aware of ourselves, what moods emerge for us? Any lingering resentments? Are we resigned to tolerate thing we wish to change? Our moods affect how we see the future – what’s possible and what’s not. Becoming aware of them gives us a chance to shift to another more appropriate mood.
Don begins to realize he holds some resentment about his departure was handled. It doesn’t seem fair that others remain with the company while he had to go. On deeper reflection, he comes to know that what he resents isn’t so much leaving the company, as having to face his future before he was ready. Ideally, Don will come to realize he’s going to have to create a new future for himself eventually. And, that while difficult, this may be the spark he needs.
The second area of self-exploration is about what we want for our future. What’s most important to us? What do we value and care about? What’s our purpose? --- even, what do we want our legacy to be?Neither of these areas of self-exploration is necessarily easy. Perhaps most of our intellectual energy has been applied to work and career. Self-exploration stems from internal rather than external sources, revealing both challenging and richly rewarding territory. These ponderings are not “one and done” things. We’re looking for a cycle of evaluating, planning, testing and reassessing.Grappling with these provides us a foundation for conversations with those closest to us, and makes us more sympathetic to others pondering the same questions.I welcome your feedback and invite you to a conversation about how this might be relevant to you.Be well,
